When folks think of trauma, they often imagine a single, overwhelming event—an accident, an assault, a natural disaster. But for many, trauma doesn’t come from one moment. It comes from being targeted again and again. From words that cut. From exclusion, ridicule, intimidation, or harassment that slowly chips away at your sense of safety and self-worth. According to Blanchflower, DG & Bryson, A (2024), effects from being bullied as a child can last well into adulthood.
Bullying and harassment—whether experienced in childhood, adolescence, the workplace, online, or within relationships—can leave deep and lasting emotional wounds. And often, those wounds are minimized. “It wasn’t that bad.” “Other people had it worse.” “I should be over this by now.”
If you’ve ever told yourself those things, you’re not alone. You’re not broken but may be carrying is unresolved trauma—and EMDR therapy can help. According to the Journal of Aggression and Violent Behavior, PTSD can be a consequence of bullying and harassment.
How Bullying and Harassment Impact the Nervous System
Bullying and harassment are not just “mean experiences.” According to Perino MT, Guassi Moreira JF, Telzer EH (2019), they are threatening experiences to the nervous system. When someone is repeatedly targeted, their body learns to stay on high alert. Over time, this can lead to symptoms such as:
- Chronic anxiety or panic
- Shame or persistent self-doubt
- Difficulty trusting others
- People-pleasing or avoidance
- Emotional numbness or dissociation
- Depression or hopelessness
- Strong reactions to criticism or conflict
- A deep belief of “I’m not safe” or “Something is wrong with me”
When you’re humiliated, threatened, or rejected repeatedly, your brain and body do what they’re designed to do, which is to try to protect you. The problem is that long after the bullying or harassment ends, your nervous system may still be acting as if the danger is present.
Why “Talking It Through” Isn’t Always Enough
Many folks have talked extensively about their experiences of bullying or harassment. They can clearly name what happened and understand, on a logical level, that it wasn’t their fault. Friends, partners, or therapists may even remind them of this regularly. And yet, the feelings remain. The shame, fear, or sense of being “on edge” can show up unexpectedly, even when life is going well.
That’s because trauma doesn’t live only in thoughts—it lives in the body and nervous system. Experiences like bullying can teach the nervous system to stay on high alert, long after the situation has ended. Traditional talk therapy can be incredibly supportive and validating, but it doesn’t always reach the parts of the brain where traumatic memories are stored. This is where EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be very helpful, supporting deeper healing beyond insight alone.
What Is EMDR Therapy?
EMDR is a research-backed trauma therapy that helps the brain reprocess distressing experiences so they no longer feel overwhelming or present-day. Rather than reliving events in detail, EMDR works by using the brain’s natural healing processes with bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements or tapping).
In EMDR, memories that were once “stuck” begin to move, and the emotions and intensity of them decrease. The body relaxes, and new beliefs can take place.
How EMDR Helps Bullying and Harassment Trauma
Bullying and harassment often create deeply ingrained negative beliefs, such as:
- “I’m weak.”
- “I don’t belong.”
- “I’m too much.”
- “I’m not enough.”
- “If I speak up, I’ll be punished.”
- “People can’t be trusted.”
EMDR doesn’t try to convince you these beliefs are wrong, but it helps your brain change them by reprocessing the experiences that created them in the first place. As you get further into EMDR, you may notice:
- Reduced emotional intensity when thinking about past bullying
- Less shame and self-blame
- Greater confidence and self-trust
- A stronger sense of safety in relationships
- Improved ability to set boundaries
- Relief from anxiety, hypervigilance, or numbness
Many are surprised by how specific moments—comments, looks, incidents they thought were “small”—can cause such strong emotions. EMDR helps to decrease those emotions and intensity.
EMDR for Childhood, Workplace, and Adult Bullying
One of the strengths of EMDR is that it can address bullying across the lifespan. Whether the experiences happened in elementary school, within a toxic workplace, in online spaces, or in intimate relationships, the nervous system responds in similar ways.
There’s no need to remember everything or convince anyone that it was severe enough. If something stayed with you, shaped your sense of self, or still shows up in your life, it matters—and it’s worth caring for.
You Are Not Weak for Being Affected
One of the hardest parts of bullying and harassment is how it can make people turn the blame on themselves. Many start to think they are the problem—that they’re too sensitive, overreacting, or just not strong enough. Over time, these beliefs can quietly affect confidence, relationships, and how someone sees themselves.
EMDR helps change that story. It helps people understand that their reactions were normal responses to being hurt, not signs of weakness or failure. By working through these experiences in a gentle, structured way, EMDR supports healing at a pace that feels safe, steady, and supportive.
Moving Forward
Healing from bullying and harassment doesn’t mean minimizing what happened or pretending it didn’t hurt. It means the experience no longer defines you or dictates how you move through the world. EMDR helps lessen the grip the past can have on you, allowing you to move forward with more freedom, confidence, and self-compassion.
If you’ve been carrying the invisible wouunds of bullying or harassment, help is available and and healing is possible. Reach out to the EMDR Center of Denver to schedule a free consultation today.
More research on the effectiveness of EMDR for bullying and harassment:
Gessica Cross, LCSW
Gessica Cross has helped people find greater joy and healing from prior trauma, anxiety, and depression, as well as processing grief and life transitions. She is formally trained in EMDR and graduated with a Master’s in Social Work from the University of Illinois with honors. She moved to Colorado after completing a post-graduate fellowship in India in which she provided pro bono work among survivors of kidnapping, abduction, and human slavery. She has specialized in helping people recover from situations of trauma, depression, and anxiety for the last ten years. She is excited to work with you!